Today started out very unclear. It was foggy, work felt jolty and altogether annoying, I got lost in a city I’ve lived in for several years now, and I couldn’t find my glasses (which I don’t need all the time, but they would have been very helpful while looking for unfamiliar street signs in fog on the way to the county clerks office.) 

Usually, when I find myself feeling foggy or stressed, I do one of two things: bury my head and hide from the world while contemplating my life, or become Miss. Productive and start doing as many things as I can till I find what needed to be done. Both tactics make me feel better in the end, but today I chose number 2.  

As I went through my day I became a snowball of tasks and thoughts, tasks and thoughts. Attach order numbers to contracts, get coffee, file, organize, file, run out to my car, still foggy, 65n, 40w, Rosa Parks blvd, turn right, SHOOT should’ve turned left, get back around, stand in line, wrong line, get my tags, back in the car, wait for a spot, idiot took my spot!, go inside, wait, get my stamps, foggy and dark, get my mail, sort the mail, pay some bills, go to my desk, when did that get so messy, back to the kitchen, put away clean dishes, mugs don’t fit right, organize my cabinet, back to my desk, dust, throw away bits of paper, still feeling foggy, overwhelmed, underpaid, nothing fits right, not enough room, still haven’t taken my new hard drive out of the box yet, better do that, I hate technical stuff, where to plug it in, of course the outlet that I need is already full of plugs on top of each other falling out of the wall, there is NO ROOM for the ONE thing that I’ve been NEEDING to plug in…

And then it hit me…I have a major outlet situation!

Running around like a mad woman today with my mind going a mile a minute, led me to one outlet. It wasn’t rocket science or a really deep meaningful insight into my life, or even something that I hadn’t thought about before, but it did put a level of clarity into my fog today.

I am an outlet. I only have a certain amount of energy. I have one Job that gives me benefits and a relatively flexible schedule, one job in the music industry, and one job doing the most important thing to me, music. Unfortunately the last job is one I don’t really get paid for yet, forcing me to prioritize differently than I want to. I have been juggling plug’s and draining my energy.

Problem not solved, just identified, but that’s good enough for me this evening. At least I got my dishes put away and my tags renewed. I think I’m going to go pick up my guitar now. I have a meeting tomorrow at BMI.